maybe normal is relative
by Someone aka Me
Summary: Some days, Oliver thinks he's broken. Some days, he thinks he's a late bloomer. And some days, he just knows that this is who he's meant to be. He just didn't expect to find love despite it all. / asexual!Oliver, Oliver/Percy/Cedric


**Assignment 9, Sex Ed, task 4 -** Write about one or both parts of a relationship deciding that they don't want sex in their relationship.

* * *

For a long time, Oliver just… doesn't get it.

He knows he's different.

He knows he's not quite like everyone else.

The other boys start talking about girls and sex and Oliver just wants to play Quidditch. When he thinks about the future, he thinks about falling in love the way it is in Muggle movies — dinners together and kissing in the rain and knowing that it's meant to be.

He doesn't understand why people would want it to be so… messy.

It's not until later that he realizes this is more than just a simple difference of opinion. It's something… fundamental. Something people think is wrong with him.

He doesn't feel broken. Most days. But when the whole world is telling him that he's supposed to want something and he just _doesn't_ … well. Sometimes it's hard not to feel like he's the one that's wrong.

When he falls in love with Percy, he's seventeen and he's long since stopped being so naive. He doesn't expect it to go well for him. He still remembers Percy telling him about his first time with Penelope, stuttering and stammering but looking pleased. Oliver hadn't known what he was supposed to say.

Oliver knows that Percy is bisexual — has known since they were thirteen, hiding under a fort of blankets in Oliver's four-poster, telling secrets in the dark, as though they would stay secret that way.

But it doesn't matter, because Oliver can't give him what he wants. The whole idea makes his skin crawl.

It doesn't even matter when Percy breaks up with Penny, saying only that the things they want are too different.

So when Gryffindor wins the Quidditch cup months later and Percy finds him in the common room, riding the wave of a crush of bodies, and presses their lips together, Oliver pulls back.

He doesn't want to, but he'd rather fuck this up now than wind up in a place where both of them are in too deep to come out whole.

Percy's face, confused and regretful, makes him want to take it back. Makes him want to kiss back and ignore the fact that this can only end in heartbreak.

But he can't.

"Can we… talk?"

And Percy looks at him like that's the last thing he wants to do, but Percy isn't a Gryffindor for no reason. So he swallows, straightens up, and says, "Of course." He leads the way up to their small dormitory.

Percy sits down at the desk — a perk they've had because there's only ever been the two of them in their year — and stares out the window.

Oliver tries to figure out how to say this.

"I'm sorry," Percy says eventually, his voice smaller than it's ever been.

Oliver hates himself for causing that. Not for the first time, he wishes he didn't have to deal with this. He wishes he was _normal_.

"Please," he finally says. "Please don't apologize. Not unless you didn't mean it."

Percy turns in the chair to face where Oliver is pacing the middle of the floor. "I meant it. But I didn't… I thought you…"

"I do."

Percy stares at him.

"What?" he finally says.

"I do," Oliver repeats. "Like you. Want to kiss you, and date you, and be ridiculously sappy with you."

"Then why—"

"I don't know how to explain this."

Percy tips his head. "You know you can always talk to me."

Oliver takes a deep, bracing breath.

"I don't want to have sex."

"Erm," Percy says. "I really don't think now is a good time, anyway?"

"No, I…" Oliver tugs at his curls in frustration. "Not now. Ever. Not with you. Not with anyone."

"…oh." Again, Percy's voice comes out small, but this time it's not because of guilt. It's because of confusion.

Oliver shrugs, stopping his pacing and turning to face Percy. He doesn't know how else to explain. "It's… I've never wanted to. It… I thought I was just a late bloomer but… I don't really think I'm ever going to want to. And I can't… I can't start something knowing that I can't give you…"

Percy is shaking his head before Oliver has even finished.

"Oliver, I didn't kiss you because I want to have sex with you. Not that I don't. I mean, I wouldn't mind, is the thing, but not if you don't want to. Erm. Look. I kissed you because I _like_ you. I want to… maybe date you. If you want that. And I'd really like to kiss you sometimes but only if you also enthusiastically want to do that?"

Something inside of Oliver breaks open and he floods with warmth at Percy's words, awkward and stumbling as they may be.

"I think… kissing sounds nice."

That's how it begins.

But the thing is, Oliver is just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

He's just waiting for Percy to get fed up with him and leave him for someone who wants the same things he wants.

But somehow, they hold together through the war. They hold together through Percy's Ministry job and family issues and stubborn, stupid, pigheadedness. They hold together through Oliver's weird hours with training and Percy's late hours for Fudge and the aura of death surrounding them all.

They hold together through it all, and the war ends, and Oliver can't believe they've been together for four years.

But then.

Then Percy keeps coming home with eyes alight talking about new Ministry hire Cedric Diggory.

Percy keeps talking about him with warmth in his tone.

And then Percy invites him over for dinner and Oliver sees the way Percy looks at him and Oliver knows.

He wonders if this is how it ends.

Cedric leaves and they're cleaning up the dishes when Oliver says, "You love him, don't you?"

Percy sputters, but Oliver has always been the more direct one.

"You can't lie to me. I know what you look like when you're falling in love."

And Percy turns to him and says, "Oliver, I would _never_ che—"

"I know you wouldn't." Oliver shrugs. "And I'm not so narrow-minded as to believe that loving him means you don't love me."

"Then, what?"

Oliver bites his lips, staring fixedly at the plate he's been dedicatedly drying for about two minutes now.

"He can give you what I can't."

There's a moment of silence, and then Percy is dropping the plate he's holding into the sink, drying his hands, and curling them around Oliver's shoulders.

"Oliver," he whispers. But then the words seem to stick in his throat.

Finally, he says, "I will say it as many times as it needs saying. I love you. I'm not with you for sex. I'm not mad or disappointed that you don't want sex with me."

"I know," Oliver says eventually. "But it's still something you want that _I can't give_."

"I don't care," Percy says. "You are worth so much more."

"But if he could—"

"No. I love you. I'm not giving that up for anything."

The silence is deafening as Percy holds him tightly. Oliver is still clutching a dish towel. It feels like such a mundane thing for such a loud moment.

"What if you didn't have to?"

The words slip out before Oliver knows he's going to say them. But then they're out, said, and he can't take them back.

"What?"

"What if you just… I mean. It's not cheating if well all know exactly what's going on, is it?"

Percy blinks at him from behind his glasses.

"You… Are you suggesting I date both of you?"

Oliver shrugs. "Maybe?"

"I… Uh."

"If you don't want to… It's just. That way you wouldn't have to. Lose me. And you could still."

Percy looks as though Oliver has just smacked him in the face. He looks stunned. Flabbergasted.

"Forget it," Oliver says.

"No, I…" Percy doesn't say anything but those two words, but Oliver has always been able to read his face like an open book.

"You want to."

"I don't… want to make anyone uncomfortable," Percy says. His evasiveness tells Oliver exactly _how much_ he wants this. Percy can never admit to wanting things when he wants them so desperately it hurts.

"You know that I don't… this isn't because there's anything lacking in my relationship with you. This is a separate thing. This is… I've always been capable of loving more than one person."

Oliver nods. "I know."

He almost believes it. But there's always going to be a part of him that feels like he's not going to be enough for Percy.

"Invite him for dinner again," Oliver says instead of voicing any of that, stepping out of the circle of Percy's arms and back to the sink. "We'll talk about it."

Percy takes the hint and goes back to washing. "This is going to require a lot of talking."

Oliver makes a face. "I'll survive, I guess. You're lucky," he says, meaning to finish the sentence with, "that I love you enough to talk," but instead he's silenced by the intensity on Percy's face as he passes him a clean bowl.

Without shifting his gaze, Percy says, "I know I am." His voice is low and intense and it steadies Oliver all the way down to his core.

Because Percy loves him. That is an unshakeable fact.

Adding someone else can't change that.

Can it?

…

Cedric comes back for dinner the next Friday. He greets Oliver with a broad smile and Oliver finds himself smiling back. Cedric is calm and genuine, and these are things Oliver likes about him. These are the reasons he is willing to trust Cedric with this.

They're about halfway through dinner when Cedric sets down his fork and carefully says, "Is one of you going to let me know what's going on here?"

Percy sputters. Oliver smiles.

"Is it that obvious?" Oliver asks.

Cedric shrugs. "Percy picks at his thumbnails when he's nervous. He wasn't doing that last week, so I know it's not about the dinner, and work is relatively slow at the moment."

Oliver's respect for the other man grows. His tone is mild, but his words show how sharp he can be — and how much attention he's been paying Percy.

"We…" Percy says. "That is. I… I was wondering. If maybe you'd like to go on a date? With me? Oliver… that is, I… Erm."

Oliver cuts in before Percy can say anything else. "Percy has always had a lot of love to give." He shrugs. "He likes you. And I don't think he should miss out on a chance to see where that goes just because he already loves me."

Cedric tips his head, processing. "So you're okay with me dating your boyfriend?"

Oliver looks him straight in the eyes, taking him in. "I'm okay with Percy dating whoever he likes, as long as channels of communication stay open."

There's more to it than that, of course, but that's all Oliver feels like sharing right now. Cedric nods.

He turns back to Percy. "I'd like to… can I think about it?"

Percy smiles at him softly. "Of course. I don't… There's no pressure. At all. Whatever you decide."

Oliver is very glad they technically work in different departments. No matter how this shakes out, at least nobody has to worry about job security.

…

A week later, Percy bursts in the door after work and finds Oliver on the couch. He drops his briefcase and launches himself to land on the couch next to Oliver, face buried in his thigh.

"He said yes!" Percy says in a rush.

Oliver smiles.

Because this is what he wanted. He wanted Percy to be happy. And Percy still wants to share that happiness with him.

…

Oliver thinks it should be weirder, knowing his boyfriend is dating someone else. Is _fucking_ someone else.

But in the end it isn't.

Because Oliver still doesn't want to have sex with anyone, but Percy does, and Cedric seems only too happy to oblige. And if sometimes Oliver feels like maybe he's missing out… well, there are parts of his relationship with Percy that Cedric doesn't share. There are years of inside jokes and the soft warmth of the routine of cooking together and doing the dishes together.

And Cedric is hard to hate. He's level-headed and even-keeled and he tempers both of them, because they both have a tendency toward hotheadedness at times — even if Percy hates to admit it. He comes to dinners on a near-weekly basis and sometimes he even stays afterward, sitting in the living room with a sheaf of papers while Percy reads a book and Oliver does a puzzle. Sometimes he even helps with the puzzle.

The truth is, it doesn't take Oliver long to figure out why Percy likes him. Cedric is warm and steady, like a candle flame.

Oliver doesn't expect to fall for him.

But he does.

…

In the end, he notices it when they're curled up on the couch after dinner, Percy leaning against one arm of the couch, Oliver leaning against the other, and Cedric sprawled out with his feet in Percy's lap and his head in Oliver's, a bowl of almonds balanced on his stomach.

He notices, because he notices that it should feel weird.

But it doesn't.

It feels comfortable.

It feels like home.

Oliver doesn't even remember what movie they're watching. He doesn't process any of it. None of it is stored in his memory.

He's thinking about how Cedric became so deeply intertwined in their lives that Oliver doesn't know how he lifts out anymore.

He's thinking about the fact that if this goes well, they're going to have to buy a bigger bed.

He's thinking about the fact that this is going to require _a lot_ more talking.

…

But the truth is, it winds up being simple.

Cedric falls asleep on the couch and Oliver carries him to the bedroom, resting his head carefully on the pillow and tucking him in with the weird pink and lavender blanket that Cedric loves.

They fall asleep tangled up together and Oliver thinks, _this is bliss_.

He wakes up first and starts a pot of coffee, and then breakfast. Percy wakes next, and is seated at the table with the Prophet by the time Cedric shuffles into the kitchen. Sleepy-eyed, hair mussed, Cedric absently kisses Percy and then wanders over to the coffee machine to stare at it.

Oliver hands him the cup he's already poured. Cedric smells it, smiles happily, and says, "God, I love you," and then kisses Oliver the same way he kissed Percy before sitting at the table, humming over his coffee.

He's halfway through his second cup and Oliver's almost done with the pancakes before Cedric notices.

His head snaps up to look at Oliver.

"Did I just…"

Oliver grins at him.

"You did."

Cedric blushes. "I…"

Oliver shrugs. "I mean. We can write it off as sleep. Or…"

"Or?" Cedric asks.

"Or I could say I love you, too."

Cedric smiles, wide and bright. Next to him, Percy does the same.

"I think I'd like the second option," he says.

"I'd hoped you would," Oliver replies. Percy is beaming at them both.

It feels like _home_.

* * *

Writing Month: 2547

Moresome May: plot point: curling up to watch movies. Word count: 2547

Character Appreciation: 13. (plot point) first love

Disney: S2: Hakuna Matata - Write about a laid back character. Alt, Write about an inseparable pair.

Book Club: Marguerite: (food) almond; (action) making someone breakfast; (word) memory

Showtime: 19. ABC Cafe / Red & Black - (plot point) First Love

Sophie's Shelf:15. Madame Lulu; Write about someone competing for the affection of someone who is already in a relationship.

Emy's Emporium: 4. Ogodei Khan - write about someone who is very charismatic

Photography Month: 5. Candid Photography: Write about a wizard doing 'muggle' things. Cannot be in a Muggle!AU, and cannot be a muggleborn.

Cooking: Pink Grapefruit: Colour: Pink; Emotion: Bliss

Debate: OT3, colour: lavender

Insane House: Item - Pillow


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